There's plenty of time left tonight...

i am a.d.d. tonight and can't focus on my paper. this is bad. there are so many other things on my mind. there are things i'd rather be doing, reading, thinking about, writing, watching, listening to... i could go on and on. right now i'm listening to copeland- i'm listening to coffee. this song takes me back and locks me in the present all at the same time. it reminds me of last fall when we'd sit in the oversized chair by the fireplace and just be together. i was in my deathcab shirt and my ring was on the wrong finger and our whole world was each other.



do you remember those days? there was something innocent about them. we had no idea what was there or what was going on- what the Lord was doing. now we've settled and are companions. best friends. it's not a loss, it's a shift. a wonderful shirt with depth and passion. it's easy to say that i miss those days, but never for a split second would i trade where we are for that. look at this picture and remember our families impact on us at the time and their involvement, now look at this one and think of the same thing.



we've come a long way. i like our coffee better now. i'll be honest. right now i'm torn by feelings of over involvement, intrusion, and it simply not being my place, but i know with time this will ease. i've just got to find a balance and where i truly belong. i don't want to work so hard at fitting in where i don't even belong yet- it's a recipe for heart ache for all involved and i don't want to be the cause of that. what's our motto? "it'll be fine." and it will be.

this paper is so daunting. i have nothing to say on the topic. so what. the kitchen is a place for the trifles of women and thus the triflesome women solve the murder because their heads aren't stuck up their.. something... with logic. blah blah blah feminism and all that jazz. i don't care, i don't feel like doing this. i just want to listen to aaron marsh sing and let his music take me to that special place that has absolutely nothing to do with aaron marsh. now i feel like pouting- and i still have half a paper to write. arg. man, i'm a whiney-butt, but it felt good to get it out.